“The Ides of March”
“Butchie” is basking in the afternoon sunlight coming through the garage window. He is on his back on top of the pool table, his legs pointing up. By his side is a cat-nip toy. He is oblivious to his surroundings.
“Sunny” is in his litter box covering a pile and grousing about being relegated to the garage.
Sunny suddenly loses it; the cat litter begins flying everywhere and he queries his brother Butchie: “What’s with us being locked in the garage? We were the kings of this whole castle and now our kingdom has suddenly shrunk dramatically. And what’s with that stupid smile on your face, don’t you get it? We’ve been replaced! We are no longer Mom and Dad’s favorites. We’re not kitty-people any more; we’re just plain old cats. Butchie!!! Are you listening?”
Butchie jumps straight up, knocking over a box full of Styrofoam peanuts, leaps off the pool table and dives under the tool box. He can feel his fur standing straight up. He sticks out his pink nose and wonders what almost got him. He meekly calls his brother: “Sunny, Sunny are you here?”
Sunny is watching this whole episode with bewilderment, entertaining the thought that maybe his brother has had just a little too much cat-nip. “Yeah, yeah, I’m over here.”
Butchie crawls out from under the tool box, stretches and asks; “What was that?”
Sunny ponders the question for a moment and wonders if they are really brothers. “That, my dear brother, was the sound of your future. The sound of no more sleeping in a soft king sized bed on fluffy covers. The sound of M0m and Dad cooing over someone else. The sound of being locked in THIS GARAGE!!! That’s what that sound was, GET-IT?”
Butchie, however, had been distracted by the movement of Styrofoam peanuts moving around on the floor. Stirred by the light breeze cascading to the floor from the crack in the window. Butchie had moved under the pool table and was studying their random movements and had discovered that if you batted them, they were very fun to play with, now forgetting all about that screeching sound that had startled him earlier.
Sunny was chastising himself, as he was sauntering toward the cat door, for not seeing this whole thing coming. He had thought all those new swings and toys were for him and Butchie, after all, the two of them had always received all Mom’s and Dad’s love and attention. Everything had always been about him and Butchie.
Oh sure, Mom and Dad had gone off and left them a few times but they always came back and everything always, always returned to normal. Mom always loved us and kissed us and Dad always let me sleep between his legs in the big bed. Why shouldn’t I have thought all this new stuff was for us, after all, who else would it be for?
Sunny reached the cat door, which had always been unlocked, to test and see if it was still locked. It was. He turned and began searching for Butchie’s toy hoping he could drown his feelings in cat-nip.
Beyond the locked cat door in the house with the fluffy covers and giant bed, Sunny and Butchie were the topic of conversation. After all, they are the kitties Aunt Mimi was referring to, aren’t they?
Parker was released and went home with Mommy and Daddy March 4th.
Chase followed a couple days later. He joined his sister on Monday, March 7th.
They have since both meet with their pediatrician and have received glowing reports.
Parker is now like a little baby weighing in at just over six pounds. Preemie cut little shirts etc. no longer fit. She is getting little baby fat creases and is doing well.
Chase is gaining as well, weighing in at just over five pounds. Life seems to be more serious to him.
Grandma Lillian arrived Wednesday the ninth and has been a tremendous help for the fledgling parents, plus Mike and Lisa’s support group of friends have stepped forward to help as well.
Everyone is adjusting and the only trauma is taking place in the garage.
Sunny figured out that if he beat on the cat door with his head long enough, he could break in, which he did. He was not going to relinquish his castle quite as planned.
He must have done it after he found Butchie’s toy!
Butchie had long ago lost interest in the Styrofoam peanuts and was just wondering aimlessly around the garage.
Now where did I leave that cat-nip toy, he asked himself. He jumped up on the pool table and landed square astride his brother.
Sunny was dreaming of sitting in his Mom’s lap being loved and scratched behind the ears when something heavy landed on him. He was sure he was dead, but so what, he still had eight lives to go and he leaped up, ready to do battle, and faced his attacker.
“Butchie!!” Sunny exclaimed. “Geez, you just cost me a life, not to mention interrupting a wonderful dream.”
Butchie was taken aback by Sunny’s grumpiness. “What’s your problem?” Butchie asked.
“My problem is, I want things back the way they were.” Sunny responded. “I want to be a kitty-people again.”
“Forget it.’ Butchie suggested. “The sooner you come to grips with being a cat the sooner you’ll be happy again. Fact is, we don’t even know what other cats do. It might be a lot of fun being out doors. We could join in that game of tag those other cats play with that big dog. Looks like fun to me.”
Sunny just stared at Butchie, then he turned and jumped down off of the pool table and headed straight for the cat door. He was determined that this time he was going inside his house. On the other side of that door was heaven and his stride quickened.
Wham! Sunny hit the door head first and it opened!
Oh yes, he was in at last. There was the kitchen table and his favorite chair and, wait a minute! What is that Mom is holding instead of me, and Dad has one too!
Sunny stopped dead in his tracks.
It’s okay Parker. It’s okay, it’s just aaa---, I don’t know what that is. It kinda’ looks like a kitty only bigger and I don’t think it’s green either.
Ooops, there’s another one! Chaaase, Chaaase, Chaaase. I can’t look, Mommy!
Parker! Get a grip, I figured it out. It’s a big kitty cat. But boy it is sure big, it’s bigger than us!
Here it comes Chase! Here it comes!
Sunny is taking in everything in his view. “So this is how it is, huh?” he is thinking to himself. “After all these years of loyalty and sacrifice. Humph! We’ll just see about that.”
Sunny trots over to the new swing and leaps into the seat and prepares to clean himself. Just then he is startled, “Yeow! What was that? Yeow! There it is again.” Sunny jumps down and goes behind the sofa and comes nose to nose with Butchie.
“Hey Sunny, did you get a load of the new kids?” Butchie ask.
Sarcastically Sunny replies, “Oh, so that’s what those things are, huh, kids!
“Well, actually Sunny, they’re tiny new babies and that’s what all this new stuff around here is about. So why don’t you quit pouting and go introduce yourself? Carefully, Sunny carefully.” Butchie warns.
“Not on your life.” Sunny rebuts and he starts to sharpen his claws on the sofa arm.
“So that’s what it feels like to get hit by a car.” Sunny exclaims to himself as he lands on his feet in the kitchen.
Butchie thinks to himself, “My brother is so smart and so dumb at the same time. Oh well.” and he curls up next to Dad and the newest male member of the family.
“Chase, did you see that kitty fly? I didn’t know kitties could fly. He flew clear into the other room, just like the kitty in our picture.”
“Yeah, I saw that Parker, that was pretty funny. But did you see him jump out of our swing. It seemed like something was getting him. I don’t know Parker; there might be something bad in our swing. It might get us too.”
Sunny, somewhat stunned, was evaluating his position. So far he had successfully broken into the house but it had pretty much gone down hill from there. He figured he should just look disinterested, so he jumped into the pile of clean clothes and began cleaning himself.
“Sunny, get out of there. What’s wrong with you? Look at your brother he’s being such a good boy.”
“Ooops, that was Dad and he sounded serious”, Sunny thought. “Geez, wrong again.” Then he mimicked his Dad sarcastically, “Look at your brother he’s being such a good boy.” Then he thought, “I think I might have to gag.”
Sunny just stared back and watched as Dad laid his baby he was holding down in the crib. Then Dad turned and started in Sunny’s direction.
“Oh, we’ve done this before,” Sunny was thinking. “Oh yes” and he started to purr knowing Dad was coming to pick him up and hold him now.
“Hey Parker, want to see a kitty fly again? Watch this.” Chase was peeking out through the slats in the crib now that Dad had laid him down. Parker was straining her neck trying to see around Mom’s arm and just then Dad arrived at the pile of clean clothes.
Sunny stood and arched his back waiting for Dad to pick him up.
Dad spoke: “Sunny, I know this is an adjustment for you but times change. Come here, I want you to meet some very special little people who are going to live here with you for a really long time.” Then Dad bent and picked up Sunny, cradling him like he was one of the babies.
Sunny was purring and congratulating himself for once again being the focus of Dad’s attention.
Dad stopped by the crib. “Sunny this is Chase. And over there with Mom is Parker. It’s nothing personal, however, they will be sleeping in our room for now and your new bedroom is in the garage.”
Butchie opened one eye and looked at Sunny whose pink nose had just lost all its color. Butchie was amused because he knew his brother was near the explosive point.
“THE GARAGE!” Sunny exclaimed as he jumped down from his Dad’s arms. “THE GARAGE!” he exclaimed again. “Only dogs sleep in the garage and I happen to be a select member of the feline community. There must be some mistake.” He trotted into the bedroom and jumped up on the bed sure he was on firm ground and his move would not be challenged. “We’ll just see about this.” Sunny thought to himself. This was his kingdom and he wasn’t going to be replaced by some little potato bug.
‘Yeow!” There was that surprise again. “Yeow!” and again. Sunny one more time was surprised and defeated.
Dad met him at the bedroom door, spray bottle in hand, where he scooped up Sunny and headed for the garage.
Butchie had retired to the garage earlier when Sunny had ducked into the bedroom. He was rolling around on his cat-nip toy on top of the pool table.
Just as Butchie tossed his toy into the air, the door from the house to the garage opened. Butchie looked in that direction.
Sunny was standing on the floor just inside the garage with a miffed appearance about him. The door behind him closed. “What are you looking at?” he quizzed his brother.
“Ohhh—nothing. I just wanted to see what a kitty-people looked like when it found out it was really a cat, is all.” Butchie said with a little innocence in his voice.
About then Butchie’s toy hit him square on top of his head and he couldn’t contain himself any longer. He burst into laughter and collapsed onto his back. “I just want things back the way they were” he mocked Sunny and laughed harder.
At first Sunny was hurt but Butchie’s laugh was contagious and soon Sunny was laughing too. “Who wanted to be a kitty-people anyway?” Sunny thought, “People do stupid things.”
When they caught their breath, Butchie and Sunny both agreed that Mom and Dad would only change those babies’ diapers for a short time but they’ll clean our litter boxes forever. And Sunny and Butchie laughed harder still.
THANK YOU FOR READING THE ADVENTURES OF PARKER AND CHASE
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© Copyright January 2005
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